On Being (Still) Single

I have some thoughts on singleness that I have been ruminating on lately. I've had a lot of time to reflect upon being single because I am still single, much to the chagrin of the people who know me and have been praying these many years for me. And while I haven't seen the fulfillment of their pleas in the form of a husband, I have seen answers in the form of an all-encompassing peace in my status. It is not where I had ever thought I'd be at this age, but it's far from the visions I'd once had of being an old-maid. Perhaps the greatest gift I've received from remaining single is the knowledge that God can redeem anything for His purposes (singleness or marriage!), and that whatever His ultimate plan for my life may involve (I must confess that I do hope it will involve marriage), I know that He gives me grace for each and every day, that He fulfills me far more than any husband ever could, and that He is not a predicable God, but one who orders this world in ways that we cannot think or imagine. He calls some to marriage, some to singleness, and some to temporary singleness before marriage. The thing I've had to learn to accept is that I can never know God's will in advance and can only live within the day that He gives me. I can't know the next minute or hour or day. I may be married next year. Then again, I may still be single. I can only rest in the knowledge that whatever the future holds, I serve a God who loves me and orders my days according to His plans. I must believe (and I do believe) that those plans are nothing but good. If I remain single, it is good and God is still good. If I marry, it is good and God is still good. Because of this, I no longer have to fear not getting what I want, because God is changing me to want Him, and that is something I can never lose. One can lose singleness and one can lose marriage. But one can never lose God, because He has promised to never lose or forsake us.

An Update (yes, really!)

It's been awhile. Quite a long while, in fact. In the 2+ years since my last post, I have had adventures, life changes, and fun. Of course there were sorrows and trials mixed with the joys, but then, when are they not?

At the Vatican following a lovely trip to Europe. It's not if but when I go back to visit...

I have ruminated often over the many themes that have come to shape and describe my life and hope to share them here soon. In fact, I have so many thoughts that I could probably write a book filled with them. But that's too lengthy; I much prefer the short and sweet confines of a blog post.

I often ruminate over pastries and lattes. They are the food for thinking over thoughts, in my own humble opinion.

Where was I? Oh yes, I was updating you...

I am currently 1) a student working on my degree while working as a tutor to elementary-aged children. Seeing God's provision for work and meeting my financial needs has been nothing less than astounding. I'll be sharing more on this in the future. 2) I am still single. And joyful in my status. In no way does this mean that I don't long to be married, but it does mean that God has graciously granted me peace and happiness in the today. More on this later, too. 3) I have traveled. Far and wide. But not nearly far enough or wide enough. The more that I see of this world, the more I am able to grasp its immensity, enormity, and complexity. I long to probe more into the life that dominates this planet. Yes, more on this also at some future day. 4) I am doing more Bible study than I ever have. And realizing that in all my years as a Christian, I have only begun to discover the depths of this book. It astounds me. And humbles me. But of course, more on this later...

Books. Many books have been acquired in the last 2 years.

I hope to be a more faithful chronicler of life as it happens to me, and of my thoughts as they occur to me. Not because they are so life-changing or important. Au contraire, my friends. Only because I want to harness the abstract threads and weave them into the narrative that God has given me. Nothing is random or unplanned, yet sometimes it can seem as though things happen without forethought. It is only because I don't have the ability to see the big picture that God is creating. I can only see the strokes of His brush in the present, but one day I hope to look back and see the whole picture: the (hopeful) growth towards and the nearness of God in my life and all the ways that He has arranged and placed the happenings of my days, hours, minutes. Even more importantly, I want to chronicle the faithfulness of my Creator because, sinful and forgetful as I am, there are days when I don't remember. And I need to.

p.s. you will notice that I have cleaned up this blog. About time! A new year, a new blog (practically). Hope you enjoy!