Traveling With ReforMaiden: Raleigh Durham

July 24, 3.45 pm ET
So how do you spend 4 1/2 hours at Raleigh Durham International Airport? Why, you knit of course! Yes, that is a tiny gauge swatch for a pair of socks. Hopefully I will have cast on by the time we have boarded our flight for London (2 days later: it did not happen). There really isn't much to do here, especially when you have to waste so much time. However, I have to hand it to RDIA to have a woman's bathroom every 10 feet (2 days later: exaggeration - it was more like 20 feet) and a fairly crowd free airport. There isn't any chaos with people about to run you down, any pushing or shoving, etc., so although it has been what feels like the longest afternoon of my life, it has been relatively peaceful and event-free. That's good, no? 

Here is a closing shot of Ashley filling her time (aren't we the industrious ones) ;-) 

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Today is the 2o -something birthday of my lovely sister-in-law, Sarah. She is sweet, generous, compassionate, kind, and is also by far the most graceful, gracious and charming Southern belle in these parts. Texas is all the better for her presence here - and we are, too!
Love you, Sar!!

Coming Soon:
Traveling Tales of a ReforMaiden Abroad

I am leaving on Monday for a 16 day vacation to France, so posting may be even more sporadic than what it has been these past couple of weeks. I intend to post if I can while I am over there but if not, I will keep a journal while I am away and will post about my adventures when I return.

Au revoir!

Postmodernism

"Postmodernism has failed us. More specifically, pluralism has failed us. And I don’t mean in a small, figurative sense. I mean pluralism, with all its promises of niceties and tolerance, poised as the number one non-religious religion in America, has failed us on a grand scale. And it is my prediction that this failure is more than a philosophical one; it is a deadly failure."

Read the rest here.

This is Worth Your Time...

Download (free!) and then watch this great video of Joshua Harris discussing Humble Orthodoxy. He is alternatively funny and serious, but always good.

HT: Natalie Marie Nyquist

Happy Birthday, America!

Today I will be celebrating our Nation's birthday with good food, games, Wimbledon, visiting with family, more food, boating out onto Lake Grapevine for the city's fireworks display, knitting, finishing my current book Wives and Daughters, and whatever else I can think of to celebrate the day with! I'm certainly not going to waste a lot of time blogging with so much going on, so I leave you with a few links worth looking at on this Independence Day:

Dr. George Grant has posted the Declaration of Independence. While you're there, be sure to read this poem by John Greenleaf Whittier in praise of our first President.

Over on the GirlTalk blog, we are given "a girly perspective" on our grand holiday.

And finally, Dr. Ligon Duncan reminds us that the War for Independence was even called "the Presbyterian rebellion" due to the significance of Reformed influence in America at the time.

Have a glorious day celebrating your freedom!

My Thoughts Regarding Wilson and Sproul

In the past couple of months I have received several comments concerning R.C. Sproul, Jr. I have not posted previously my feelings on this issue because I just didn't want to add anything to all of the confusion out there; also, I don't know him personally, and what goes on in his private life is no business of mine, and I don't think of anyone else's whom the issues do not personally touch. A comment was left on the post below (which linked to Doug Wilson's website) and after reading it I realized that it is time for me to break my silence on the issue so that people will know where I stand and how I feel about this. I won't even try to address the controversial issues that surround Mssrs Wilson and Sproul as there are other people on the web who have already done so, and anyway I think it's time everyone just moved on. And, in case you are wondering, I have read both sides of the various issues/concerns and my conclusions side with Wilson and Sproul. I have posted my thoughts below. I had started this as a response to my commenter but it got too long, and so I am just posting it here.

Hello Deacon Phoebe,
I assume that you meant kindly by hinting that I should not have linked to the article on modesty by Doug Wilson. Thank you for your concern. However, I think that this article was very good and needed to be shared. Modesty is not talked about often enough, and there are a lot of Christian girls and women who desperately need this message as they are often unaware of the damage caused or the message sent by their clothing choices. I feel very strongly on this (though I am far from being as modest as I know I should be) and if you have visited my blog before, you will have seen one of my earlier posts on modesty. It is one of the biggest untouched subjects in the church today, and it is time that pastors stop being afraid of addressing this issue. They do a great disservice to the women in their congregation by not instructing them in this area. We need strong men who are not afraid to face this issue. That is why when I come across an article like this one, I am cheering exuberantly and admiring the bravery of the man bold enough to address the problems of immodesty and it's reflection of the church. It is a good article, and one that my sisters in Christ need to read. I needed it, and I am glad it was written, though it convicted me shamefully.

As to all of the controversy surrounding Doug Wilson and, since you've alluded to him, R.C. Sproul, Jr., I find that these are Godly men who are, like all of us, imperfect and human, but that in no way detracts from their teachings. We are none of us saints, and sanctifiaction is a process that will not be complete in this life. Forgive me for sounding like a cliche, but the road to sanctification is paved with human frailty and imperfection. The glorious wonder is this: that the grace and mercy of God extends to His children in that we are used in spite of our sinfulness and humanity. We all admire theologians and Christian saints, martyrs, etc., yet, none of those men or women were perfect; in fact, I am guessing that they were hardly the saints we often imagine them to be. Even their biographers will carefully tread around their humanity. Yet, we still glean from the teachings of these men and women gone before us - in no way does their sinfulness or imperfections detract from their message and their spiritual legacy. I think it is important for us to remember that people such as Mssrs. Wilson and Sproul are human, they are going to sin and make mistakes. But their God is our God, the same one who forgives me of my sins, and who forgives them of theirs. God's mercy doesn't just extend to me or you, and He will always use imperfect people to accomplish His sovereign will. That's mercy and unfathomable compassion. Praise God for it, and let's never forget it!

Douglas Wilson on Modesty

"The sin of immodesty is not a light matter. Nor is it a problem that can be isolated to this or that individual. We are God’s covenant people, and we worship Him together. We live together. Modesty in Christian women is therefore a very obvious indicator of whether or not Christian people understand who they are.

"We clearly have a need for reformation—doctrinal and practical infidelity on the part of God’s people is described throughout Scripture as adultery. And immodesty in Scripture is characterized as an invitation to ery. So whenever a woman dresses in an immodest fashion, she is making a statement (although perhaps unintended) about the condition of the evangelical church today. Her statement is a public one—and not measured by what she says her intentions are—and that statement is I am easy. So the reason we have so much immodesty in Christian women today is that they are the Church in miniature. Too many women look cheap and easy because the Christian Church looks cheap and easy."

Read the rest of the article here.

Our Big Sale

Last week we had a one day "garage" (more like a driveway/yard) sale with some dear friends who drove in from their farm over 50 miles away to share in our sale. They brought with them an entire stock trailer stuffed with boxes full of things to sell, lots of really, really good food like meat from their own livestock (later turned into delicious hamburgers), "sweet feed"( granola), a to-die-for chocolate cake, Dublin Dr. Peppers (oh, I was so excited to see those!) and more, with plenty of fun and laughter besides. We all had quite a day of visiting, eating and just having fun and enjoying each other's company. Now that is my idea of how to have a successful garage sale! :-)

Below are some random shots from our day, taken by our lovely garage sale "co-host", Mrs. Molder.

This was only a small corner of our sale. Landon and Lexi wait for customers at their lemonade stand.

Hunter and Lexi watch over the cash box. And yes, those are rabbit ears sticking out from between Lexi's arms. :-)

Some people really enjoyed looking at -and playing with!- our stuff.

Lunch time! Hunter grilled hamburgers for us - mmmm!

While Hunter grilled the burgers, Rachel taught me how to make delicious, spicy Mexican "chile macho".

Lemonade stand advertisement.

At the lemonade stand (a popular place for the boys!).

We even had livestock at our sale. Here Rachel holds one of her roosters.

Rachel, Lexi and Hunter enjoy one of the rabbits (on Lexi's lap).

The boys preparing for an attack... (note that in lieu of the traditional water guns or balloons, water bottles are being used for a very quick, effective and chilly result).

The boys tired of the sale quickly and went in search of more exciting things... Like a backyard water battle with ice cold water as ammunition! Attack!!

The end result was some cold, wet and triumphant boys

My Dad

My Dad and his boys 

Ten Reasons Why I Love My Dad:

1. The obvious: He's my Dad!

2. He is always a perfect gentleman

3. He takes me to dinner every Tuesday

4. He fills up a Starbucks card for me every other week.

5. He brings me "real" Dr. Peppers back from Waco every time he has to go down there.

6. He is a hard worker and has never failed to provide for his family

7. He is generous and compassionate, almost to a fault if that's possible

8. He likes to surprise us (and our cat, Pippin!) with ice cream outings

9. He tells great stories

10. He is just an amazing and great guy, and I'm proud that I call him and know him as "Dad"

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 9

46. Favorite book? I'm supposed to list one? Impossible! But to make it one answer I'll just list my favorite book above all others: the Bible

45. Favorite movie? Oh my, there are too many favorites! Let's just say that a new favorite is North and South

44. Would you bungee jump? No

43. How old are you? 22

42. Do you have a special talent? I wish I knew for sure...

41. The furthest you've been from home? New England

David McCullough on Reading:

"However little television you watch, watch less. Read. Read for pleasure. Read for happiness."

-from a speech delivered to the graduates of Bates College

For Your Entertainment:

In case you're really bored and there's just nothing new to watch on tv tonight, you're in luck! The newest reality show to hit your screen starts tonight, with a grand prize of $50,000 for the champion. In case you're wondering what sort of fearless sportsmanship, indomitable spirit or idol qualities the contestants must exhibit to win, here's a description from A&E:

You probably played rock, paper, scissors when you were a kid, but we bet you never played it for $50,000. That's the big prize that awaits the winner in the Rock Paper Scissors Championship. Bud Light sponsored local competitions in bars throughout the country to find the best players, who advanced to the exciting national finals in Las Vegas. This special captures all the excitement of the sport, focusing on both the intensity and the insanity as players are eliminated and a victor is crowned. But this isn't just a blood sport, it's also high comedy as the program reveals the history of the game, the finer points of strategy and you the viewer can become a better rock paper scissors player.

Seriously, what will they think of next? Hop-scotch championships? Maybe tic-tac-toe? Someone point me to an audition, please. I think I've finally found my way to fame.

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 8

40. Favorite sound? So many... I guess the ocean for one

39. What did you watch last night on tv? A very brief report on the French Open (the Mavs are the big news around here and all other sports take second place to them)

38. What's on your mouse pad? No mousepad

37. What book are you reading? I refer you to my sidebar --->

36. Favorite dessert? My Mom's chocolate sheet cake

Welcome, Weekend

Here's how I spent my afternoons this week helping a church take a group of kids on field trips when morning VBS was over:
Miniature golf in 100 degree heat on Monday...
Bouncing myself stiff on Tuesday...
Bowling on Wednesday...
Ice skating fiasco on Thursday...
Movie watching and water play (again, 100 degree temps) on Friday...

It's been fun but I'm glad the week is over. Welcome, weekend. :-)

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 7

35. Summer or winter? They're about the same in Texas, but I guess the cooler nights in winter are a winner for me

34. Last movie you watched? A cute Ginger Rogers movie

33. Scary movies or happy ending? Happy ending!

32. Favorite food? Authentic Mexican

31. Do you wear contacts? No

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 6

30. Eye color? Same as my hair

29. Hair color? Dark brown

28. Favorite sport? Tennis and running

27. Favorite drink? I have two: mochas and Dublin Dr. Peppers (which are different from just plain ol' Dr. Peppers - really!)

26. The first thing you notice about people you are attracted to? Hard to say, really. Maybe their eyes and smile. I like to look for facial expressions, too.

Whew!

What a weekend! I've been working since Thursday at a fiber market/show in the area. My official duty was fabric cutting, which means that I was on my feet constantly cutting and tearing fabrics and talking to customers. I'm not much of a salesperson, but I was pretty proud of myself when I offered a suggestion to a lady and she followed through with a purchase. Other than that, I found out that I'm not cut out for retail. It's hard to deal with people, especially when you're bending over backwards to please them and you can't even allow customers to make mistakes (the customer is always right). Yet, this year has been better than others. The booth I was in was huge and there was a lot of space to move around in. I did get in some knitting during quiet moments and I ate way too much junk food. The days were long and booth takedown was hard work. Tomorrow I have to be up early for church and then I hope to crash in the afternoon and refresh myself before starting a one week 8-5 job, and then a babysitting job on Saturday. It will all be over next Sunday, and I can hardly wait for a breather. After all, summers are for leisurely, warm, sleepy days in which your main concern is how to keep cool... which book to read next... which knitting project to start... Or so I thought it would be. :-)

Actually, I'm very thankful that God has given me the opportunity to earn extra money as I am taking a trip this summer and I really did want to go to France debt-free (or, as debt-free as possible since taking a credit card over there is safer than taking cash). I am also grateful for the good health He has given me so that I can work and I'm also grateful for the fact that it all has/will have taken place in two weeks' time and then will be complete. Better to get it all done in one sweep, in my opinion.

Due to the fact that I will be up early every morning of next week and will have to catch up on things around home in the evenings, I doubt that I will be posting much more than my 46 Questions series. But you are all probably grateful that this opinionated young lady's mouth will be closed for a little while at least. :-)

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 5

25. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom

24. Favorite smell? Homemade cookies or cake baking in the oven, freshly washed sheets, new cars, my herb garden and newborn babies :-)

23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Bright pink or turquoise

22. What are you listening to right now? My brother playing on the piano

21. Last thing you ate? Carrots

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 4

20. What color pants or skirt and shoes are you wearing? I'm wearing cute pink pajamas and comfy green, blue and gray flip flops (what a color combination! Aren't you glad you can't see me?)

19. Who do you admire most? My Mom - who else? ;-)

18. Who do you miss the most? My Grandma who departed this life about 12 years ago.

17. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? So hard to say. There is so much I don't like and am working on changing. The unchangeables I'm learning to accept.

16. Red or pink? Pink

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 3

15. Shoe Size? 8-9, depending on the shoe brand

14.What is your favorite ice cream? Anything chocolate flavored!

13.Do you think you are strong mentally or physically? Both, and yet not as strong as I would really like to be...

12.Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yes if they are my running shoes, no if they are my slip-ons!

11.What is your favorite cereal? Granola, dry. I'm not much of a milk-in-my-cereal anymore :-)

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 2

10. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes

9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, but unfortunately some people will take my sarcasm/teasing seriously so I'm learning to be careful with my sharp tongue

8. Do you have a journal? Yes, three of them. A journal for my thoughts, a book journal and a knitting journal

7. If you were another person would you be friends with you? I don't know. It would depend on my personality if I were another person, wouldn't it? :-)

6. Kids? None yet.

Just for Fun...

May is such a busy month for everyone it seems. I was relieved to browse the blogsphere and find that people are either as behind as I am in blogging or they are posting very little, if at all. I'm very tired and next week is going to be very busy, so instead of anything profound or controversial or too opinionated, I thought I would do a self-questionnaire and post 5 questions a day. It's fun for me and gives everyone a chance to glimpse me as a real person and not just a name on the web. I got this from a forum, and present it to you as...

46 Questions with ReforMaiden - part 1

1. What is your name? Shelbi Starnes

2. Were you named after anyone? Yes and no. My parents liked the spelling of Shelbi (note the i instead of traditional y or ie) which was the name of a store that my Mom frequented in Dallas at the time she was pregnant with me, and then I have my Mom's middle name, with a slight spelling change

3. When did you last cry? I'm such a sentimental kook and cry at just about anything sweet or sad, so let's just say it was recent. :-)

4. Do you like your handwriting? If I take the time to use my best penmanship, I'm satisfied with it, but not necessarily pleased.

5. What is your favorite lunchmeat? Ham.

To be continued...

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies"

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

"Her children rise up and call her blessed..."

"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Modesty

Dan Phillips (of the Pyromaniac team) this week issued an invitation to hot controversy when he blogged about women's dress - or the lack thereof - and the offense/stumbling block that it is to our brothers in Christ. I'm glad he brought the subject up, as it needs to be stated that s do have a responsibility when it comes to helping our brothers fight sin; however, you really can't find a subject that's going to push the "legalism" button more than this one will. I think the comments on his post were even more interesting than the post itself. It was appalling to see people actually defending women who blatantly, inexcusably dress immodestly. I'm sorry, but I believe (and no one has to take me seriously on this - I'm only myself a female!) that anyone who says that a woman doesn't know what she's doing when she wears immodest clothing really needs to have their head examined. Women are born with that knowledge. We don't need anyone telling us that shorts that cut off right beneath our bottom are gonna cause a guy to look twice. In order not to be too hard on my fellow sisters, I do honestly believe that there are some women out there who really don't have a clue as to the extent that a man's imagination may go when he sees an immodest woman. It's true that there are some men with a problem so big that they really could lust after a women in a potato sack, however, I think that those people are an exception to the rule and not relevant to a discussion on men in general. It is not legalism or puritanical to say that women have a responsibility in our clothing choices. I think that the women at girltalk did a fabulous job on their recent modesty discussion, so if anyone really wants a good, thought provoking, non-legalistic if you will, discussion on fashion and modesty, I suggest you take the time to read their Fashion and Following the Savior series. Although I won't repeat too much what's already been said by women more experienced and more qualified to speak on this subject than I am, I will post some of my thoughts regarding this controversial topic.

1. Women need to be told that their dressing is important, and they need to be told this by men as well as by women. Older women need to encourage younger women. They shouldn't be afraid to take someone aside who is inappropiately dressed, and if they do, they need to do this in private. No public remonstraces and no gossiping about it later. Men need to speak more openly about their problems with lust so that no one can say that they were unaware of this problem. Also, I think that this is even more effective than any kind of preaching about it, because the real reason that women dress as they do is because they believe that this is what men want. In truth, this is what men want, but it shouldn't be so for Christian men. If a guy praises a girl for her chaste attire, this tells her that she is appreciated for her character and not for her body or clothing. This is really, really, important because women just want to be admired. If we can be admired for our character then why would we seek any other admiration? This is an example of the horrible effects feminism has had on our society. Women, in being "liberated" to do or dress as they see fit, have only become sex symbols and are not valued for who they are. This is tragic. Women really don't believe that a man will love them for who they are, only for how they look. Only men can help reverse this terrible assumption by encouraging their believing sisters and affirming their character traits, not their clothing choices.

2. Women are sinners, too. We need as much preaching to about our dressing motives/choices as men need about keeping their minds pure. Women know what they are doing when they choose a tight fitting t-shirt or strapless dress. Please don't just automatically assume that women are innocent little creatures who have no idea that men have a problem. It's a jungle out there, and women are the cats who prowl it. It's a contest to see who's the hottest, the prettiest, the most fashionable, and women are constantly fighting for first place in any, if not all, of those categories. Just as men struggle with purity of mind, women struggle with purity of heart and motive. It really is hard to let someone else get all of the attention. It makes you feel as though you're not good enough or pretty enough or fashionable enough. Again, men can help women with this by affirming their character and spiritual beauty.

3. Women are afraid that they will look frumpy and matronly if they are modest. And indeed, there is no reason to look like that if you are trying to be modest. It really is a matter of knowing how to dress. Also, having a male who will be honest and tell you if something is too tight, sheer, low, or whatever is absolutely essential. Sometimes I really do believe that something is modest until someone in my family informs me otherwise. This is what Christians are to do: exhort and encourage their fellow believers to holiness and purity. So sisters, don't be afraid to seek out someone who will help you determine what sorts of clothing are a problem for guys and what isn't (and some goes without saying, like bikinis. :-) ). It's not shameful or any kind of admission of immodesty if you do. It only says that you are concerned for the spiritual welfare of your brothers in Christ, and that is admirable.

And that's all I'll say. Any thoughts on this are welcome.

My two younger siblings have only been taking piano for about a year now, but they both went before a competition judge two weeks ago to be graded on their playing. They were each given the highest scoring and invited to play in an Honors recital with other students who excelled in the competition. This was Parker's and Lexi's first time to play before an audience. Here Parker wows us with his performance and his debonair presence at the piano. 

Lexi playing "Classic Sonatina, movements I, II and III". She performed it beautifully and looked so at ease and lovely at the piano. 

The keyboard champs and their Mom 

The Love of God

"There are many today who talk about the love of God, who are total strangers to the God of love. The Divine love is commonly regarded as a species of amiable weakness, a sort of good-natured indulgence; it is reduced to a mere sickly sentiment, patterned after human emotion. Now the truth is that on this, as on everything else, our thoughts need to be formed and regulated by what is revealed thereon in Holy Scripture.That there is urgent need for this is apparent not only from the ignorance which so generally prevails, but also the low state of spirituality which is now so sadly evident everywhere among professing Christians. How little real love there is for God. One chief reason for this is because our hearts are so little occupied with His wondrous love for His people. The better we are acquainted with His love-its character, fulness, blessedness-the more our hearts will be drawn out in love to Him."
-A.W. Pink

Together for the Gospel

I haven't had too much time to read all of the wonderful blog posts that have come out of the Together for the Gospel Conference in Louisville this week, but what I have been able to read I have already been enriched by it. I know that this conference was for pastors, but there is still so much that was said that can most definitely be applied to the rest of us.

Visit Tim Challies' blog for detailed live blogging from the event. Visit Provocations and Pantings for photos from the conference and a blog-roll of attendees (none of whose blogs I have visited, but if you want more conference details and pics, you're sure to find it on at least one of those blogs). Also, the TFTG blog where some of the speakers have participated in lively, enlightening discussions over the past couple of months has been a lot of fun to read and I hope it doesn't end with the conference.

Reading all about the conference has reminded me that I never did finish putting up my notes from the Ligonier conference, so I shall attempt to post more on that next week.